Mind Your Manners When Using Your Cell Phone

Some go to the grocery stores weekly. Some even go to the malls and other outlets as a weekend getaway for friends and family. When we visit doctors, we have to wait until our names are called in the waiting area with others. In all of these different public places, one thing is common. Most people have a cell phone or some smart device with them. And most of them can be seen with their heads down, ears plugged, and eyes glued to the mobile device's small screen. On the other side of this, some have no problem with having full-blown conversations in public using outside voices. We have become so accustomed to staying in constant contact with a phone which is a debate or discussion for another day's blog.

I am the mother of three boys under the age of eight. To be exact, my oldest just turned eight this past Tuesday. I have a three-year-old, and my youngest son will be one in March. I remember the days of sitting in the waiting area at the doctor's office while I was pregnant, and those around me had their phones in their hands. Let me be the first to say I am not an exception. I made sure to charge my phone the night before to catch up on television shows while waiting. I would also pack a snack and charger in case my phone died. This one day, in particular, I had an extended wait because my doctor was running behind due to complications in surgery. Next to me was a young lady on her phone. No problem there. Wrong. She was using her outside cheerleading voice with her smartphone on speaker. She and the caller were in a heated argument. I am sure you already know where this story is going by now. I was already frustrated that I had to wait and to add insult to injury, I was forced to listen to this couple argue. The problem was not that she was using her phone. The problem was not that she was having a heated conversation. The issue was that she was extremely loud and completely disregarded those around her. She basically robbed us of our peace and quiet. I remember pausing the show I was streaming on Netflix because she was so loud I got invested in her conversation. There is a time and place for everything.    

Parents instill good manners into their children at an early age. We are all familiar with the saying that "please" and "thank you" is the golden rule. There are rules, regulations, and etiquette for everything you can imagine. There is an etiquette for sitting at a formal dinner table, in a classroom, in a workplace, in a church, and social settings. There is even etiquette noted for using a mobile phone. Yes, there is an etiquette for using your phone. Now some would say that's just a matter of using common sense. It is much deeper than common sense. There is almost a science built around manners and phone etiquette in various settings.

Let us dive in and see what having phone etiquette is all about. There are some general rules about mobile phone etiquette. Then there are rules about mobile phone etiquette when you are on a date.

In the story I mentioned earlier, it is best to postpone having a conversation in public surrounding personal matters. Others that are in earshot are not interested, nor do they want to hear the details. Also, speak using soft tones. I remember being in elementary school, and the teacher would remind us to use our inside library voices. The same goes for using your mobile phone in public places. The following general rule regarding mobile phone etiquette I am guilty of doing. We should not text, accept, or make phone calls while holding face-to-face talks or interactions. Can you even believe there is a rule that you should be careful about which picture you save for a person's contact photo on your phone? Of course, we know we are not supposed to talk or text and drive. Now that most cars are equipped with Bluetooth, texting and talking while driving is hands-free.

Another general rule I learned while reading for class this week was that we should not fact check in the middle of a conversation. I am notorious for doing this. I had no clue that I was being rude. I am more so trusting but verifying. This next rule, when broken, actually irks me. iPhone users know that if a call is dropped, we hear a tone on our end of the receiver. We should stop insinuating that it is the other person's fault the call dropped.

Ring tones can be annoying in public settings. If it is not already being done, we should make it a habit to put our smart devices and mobile phones on silent mode. Before I purchased my Apple Watch, I did not use silent mode, but I would lower the volume on my phone while at work. You would be amazed at how sound travels, disturbing others concentrating on their daily tasks.

Who loves a game of phone tag? Not me. In this day and age, everyone has caller ID. In the same way, I saw I missed a call, and so did the person I called. It is a consensus that the phone tag game should end after four attempts. I want to add to this rule. Please do not text someone that you tried to call them. Reminder, they have caller ID. Even if they use a focus setting or have their phone on 'Do Not Disturb,' they saw the call and will return it at their convenience.

There are rules, regulations, and protocols for any and everything. Manners are essential and are not limited to being used at the dinner table. When using your mobile phone the next time you are in public, be mindful of your surroundings.

Come back next week for a new and exciting read. 

Brooks, M. (2019). Phone Scripts. New York: Wiley.